I get by with a little help from my friends

There's a long list of things I know now that I didn't know then.

Children are God's best gifts.
Cats are less trouble than dogs.
Money, china, jewelry, nice cars and furniture can't make you happy.

Some things you have to live through to figure out. But I'd really like to save people the trouble when it comes to one true thing. I preach it to my daughters and my needy friends and even random brides and grooms.

Here it is:

One person, no matter how wonderful, can NOT be expected to meet all your needs.

It goes against the Snow White-Prince Charming fairy tale, but it's true. A husband, wife, best friend, mom or daughter is just one person. And you have too many burdens for that one person to carry.

A good husband can fix your frozen computer or tell you what medicine to take for whatever aches you. A best friend can clean, babysit, spy, eavesdrop, wait, laugh and celebrate with you. Your mom can untangle the biggest mess you ever got yourself into.

But nobody can be all things to one person.

I confess that I have been the "one person" sort. Like Cristina and Meredith on Grey's Anatomy. They openly claim to be each other's "person."

They are still young. Maybe they can meet each other's emotional needs -- at least the ones their doctor boyfriends leave dangling.

But I need an army of needs-meeters. I need my aerobics class and my Bible study friends and my tennis teammates and my subdivision neighbors. I need the law wives and the relatives and even the garden clubbers. I have seen my needs and they are legion.

So I write it on the card with the wedding gift -- just a little free advice for all you innocent, starry-eyed brides and grooms. Don't expect him to do it all. Don't expect her to always be there for you.

There's your bonus. Take it or leave it.

And best wishes for a life well-lived.